A Fully Glossed Russian Text of “The Death of Ivan Ilich” with Explanatory and Interpretive Annotations
Chapter 8
Бы́ло у́тро. Потому́ то́лько бы́ло у́тро, что Гера́сим ушёл и пришёл Пётр-лаке́й, потуши́л све́чи, откры́л одну́ гарди́ну и стал потихо́ньку убира́ть. У́тро ли, ве́чер ли был, пя́тница, воскресе́нье ли бы́ло - всё бы́ло всё равно, всё бы́ло одно́ и то же: но́ющая, ни на мгнове́ние не утиха́ющая, мучи́тельная боль; созна́ние безнадёжно всё уходя́щей, но всё не уше́дшей ещё жи́зни; надвига́ющаяся всё та же стра́шная ненави́стная смерть, кото́рая одна́ была́ действи́тельность, и всё та же ложь. Каки́е же тут дни, неде́ли и часы́ дня?
"Ему́ ну́жен поря́док, чтоб по утра́м господа́ пи́ли чай", – поду́мал он и сказа́л то́лько:
– Нет.
– Не уго́дно ли перейти́ на дива́н?
"Ему́ ну́жно привести́ в поря́док го́рницу, и я меша́ю, я - нечистота́, беспоря́док", – поду́мал он и сказа́л то́лько:
Лаке́й повози́лся ещё. Ива́н Ильи́ч протяну́л ру́ку. Пётр подошёл услу́жливо.
– Часы́.
Пётр доста́л часы́, лежа́вшие под руко́й, и по́дал.
– Полови́на девя́того. Там не вста́ли?
– Ника́к нет-с. Васи́лий Ива́нович (э́то был сын) ушли́ в гимна́зию[1] а Праско́вья Фёдоровна приказа́ли разбуди́ть их, е́сли вы спро́сите. Прика́жете?
– Нет, не на́до. – "Не попро́бовать ли ча́ю?" – поду́мал он. – Да, ча́ю... принеси́.
Пётр пошёл к вы́ходу. Ива́ну Ильичу́ стра́шно ста́ло остава́ться одному́. "Чем бы задержа́ть его́? Да, лека́рство". – Пётр, пода́й мне лека́рство. – "Отчего́ же, мо́жет быть, ещё помо́жет и лека́рство". Он взял ло́жку, выпил. "Нет, не помо́жет. Всё э́то вздор, обма́н, - реши́л он, как то́лько почу́вствовал знако́мый при́торный и безнадёжный вкус. – Нет, уж не могу́ ве́рить. Но бо́ль-то, бо́ль-то заче́м, хоть на мину́ту зати́хла бы". И он застона́л. Пётр верну́лся. - Нет, иди́. Принеси́ чаю.
Пётр ушёл. Ива́н Ильи́ч, оста́вшись оди́н, застона́л не сто́лько от бо́ли, как она́ ни была́ ужа́сна, ско́лько от тоски́. "Всё то же и то же, все э́ти бесконе́чные дни и но́чи. Хоть бы скоре́е. Что скоре́е? Смерть, мрак. Нет, нет. Всё лучше сме́рти!"
Когда́ Пётр вошёл с ча́ем на подно́се, Ива́н Ильи́ч до́лго расте́рянно смотре́л на него́, не понима́я, кто он и что он. Пётр смути́лся от э́того взгля́да. И когда́ Пётр смути́лся, Ива́н Ильи́ч очну́лся.
– Да, - сказа́л он, - чай... хорошо́, поста́вь. То́лько помоги́ мне умы́ться и руба́шку чи́стую.
И Ива́н Ильи́ч стал умыва́ться. Он с о́тдыхом умы́л ру́ки, лицо́, вы́чистил зу́бы, стал причёсываться и посмотре́л в зе́ркало. Ему́ стра́шно ста́ло: осо́бенно стра́шно бы́ло то, как во́лосы пло́ско прижима́лись к бле́дному лбу.
Когда́ переменя́ли ему́ руба́шку, он знал, что ему́ бу́дет ещё страшне́е, е́сли он взгля́нет на своё те́ло, и не смотре́л на себя́. Но вот ко́нчилось всё. Он наде́л хала́т, укры́лся пле́дом и сел в кре́сло к ча́ю. Одну́ мину́ту он почу́вствовал себя́ освежённым, но то́лько что он стал пить чай, опя́ть тот же вкус, та же боль. Он наси́льно до́пил и лёг, вы́тянув но́ги. Он лёг и отпусти́л Петра́.
Всё то же. То ка́пля наде́жды блеснёт, то взбушу́ется мо́ре отча́яния, и всё боль, всё боль, всё тоска́ и всё одно́ и то же. Одному́ ужа́сно тоскли́во, хо́чется позва́ть кого-нибудь, но он вперёд зна́ет, что при други́х ещё ху́же. "Хоть бы опя́ть морфи́н - забы́ться бы.[2] Я скажу́ ему́, до́ктору, чтоб он приду́мал что́-нибудь ещё. Э́то невозмо́жно, невозмо́жно так".
Час, два прохо́дит так. Но вот звоно́к в пере́дней. Аво́сь до́ктор. То́чно, э́то до́ктор, све́жий, бо́дрый, жи́рный, весёлый, с тем выраже́нием - что вот вы там чего́-то напуга́лись, а мы сейча́с вам всё устро́им. До́ктор зна́ет, что э́то выраже́ние здесь не годи́тся, но он уже́ раз навсегда́ наде́л его́ и не мо́жет снять, как челове́к, с утра́ наде́вший фрак и е́дущий с визи́тами. До́ктор бо́дро, утеша́юще потира́ет ру́ки.
– Я хо́лоден.[3] Моро́з здоро́вый. Да́йте обогре́юсь, – говори́т он с таки́м выраже́нием, что как бу́дто то́лько на́до немно́жко подожда́ть, пока́ он обогре́ется, а когда́ обогре́ется, то уж всё испра́вит.
Ива́н Ильи́ч чу́вствует, что до́ктору хо́чется сказа́ть, "Как дели́шки?"[4] но что и он чу́вствует, что так нельзя́ говори́ть, и говори́т, "Как вы провели́ ночь?"
Ива́н Ильи́ч смо́трит на до́ктора с выраже́нием вопро́са: "Неуже́ли никогда́ не ста́нет тебе́ сты́дно врать?"
Но до́ктор не хо́чет понима́ть вопро́с.
– Всё так же ужа́сно. Боль не прохо́дит, не сдаётся. Хоть бы что́-нибудь!
– Да, вот вы, больны́е, всегда́ так. Ну-с, тепе́рь, ка́жется, я согре́лся, да́же аккура́тнейшая Праско́вья Фёдоровна ничего́ бы не име́ла возрази́ть про́тив мое́й температу́ры. Ну-с, здра́вствуйте. – И до́ктор пожима́ет ру́ку.
И, отки́нув всю пре́жнюю игри́вость, до́ктор начина́ет с серьёзным ви́дом иссле́довать больно́го, пульс, температу́ру, и начина́ются посту́киванья, прослу́шиванья.
Ива́н Ильи́ч зна́ет твёрдо и несомне́нно, что всё э́то вздор и пусто́й обма́н, но когда́ до́ктор, став на коле́нки, вытя́гивается над ним, прислоня́я у́хо то вы́ше, то ни́же, и де́лает над ним с значи́тельнейшим лицо́м ра́зные гимнасти́ческие эволю́ции, Ива́н Ильи́ч поддаётся э́тому, как он поддава́лся, быва́ло, реча́м адвока́тов, тогда́ как он уж о́чень хорошо́ знал, что они́ всё врут и заче́м врут.
До́ктор, сто́я на коле́нках на дива́не, ещё что́-то высту́кивал, когда́ зашуме́ло в дверя́х шёлковое пла́тье Праско́вьи Фёдоровны и послы́шался её упрёк Петру́, что ей не доложи́ли о прие́зде до́ктора.
Она́ вхо́дит, целу́ет му́жа и то́тчас же начина́ет дока́зывать, что она́ давно́ уж вста́ла и то́лько по недоразуме́нию её не́ было тут, когда́ прие́хал до́ктор.
Ива́н Ильи́ч смо́трит на неё, разгля́дывает её всю и в упрёк ста́вит ей и белизну́, и пу́хлость, и чистоту́ её рук, ше́и, гля́нец её воло́с и блеск её по́лных жи́зни глаз. Он все́ми си́лами души́ ненави́дит её[5] и прикоснове́ние её заставля́ет его́ страда́ть от прили́ва не́нависти к ней.
Её отноше́ние к нему́ и его́ боле́зни всё то же. Как до́ктор вы́работал себе́ отноше́ние к больны́м, кото́рое он не мог уже́ снять, так она́ вы́работала одно́ отноше́ние к нему́ – то, что он не де́лает чего́-то того́, что ну́жно, и сам винова́т, и она́ любо́вно укоря́ет его́ в э́том, – и не могла́ уже́ снять э́того отноше́ния к нему́.[6]
– Да ведь вот он, не слу́шается! Не принима́ет во́время. А гла́вное - ложи́тся в тако́е положе́ние, кото́рое, наве́рное, вре́дно ему́ - но́ги кве́рху.
Она́ рассказа́ла, как он заставля́ет Гера́сима держа́ть себе́ но́ги.
До́ктор улыбну́лся презри́тельно-ла́сково: "Что ж, мол, де́лать, э́ти больны́е выду́мывают иногда́ таки́е глу́пости; но мо́жно прости́ть".
Когда́ осмо́тр ко́нчился, до́ктор посмотре́л на часы́, и тогда́ Праско́вья Фёдоровна объяви́ла Ива́ну Ильичу́, что уж как он хо́чет, а она́ ны́нче пригласи́ла знамени́того до́ктора, и они́ вме́сте с Михаи́лом Дани́ловичем (так зва́ли обыкнове́нного до́ктора) осмо́трят и обсу́дят.[7]
– Ты уж не проти́вься, пожа́луйста. Э́то я для себя́ де́лаю, - сказа́ла она́ ирони́чески, дава́я чу́вствовать, что она́ всё де́лает для него́ и то́лько э́тим не даёт ему́ пра́ва отказа́ть ей. Он молча́л и мо́рщился. Он чу́вствовал, что ложь э́та, окружа́ющая его́, так пу́талась, что уж тру́дно бы́ло разобра́ть что́-нибудь.
Она́ всё над ним де́лала то́лько для себя́ и говори́ла ему́, что она́ де́лает для себя́ то, что она́ то́чно де́лала для себя́ как таку́ю невероя́тную вещь, что он до́лжен был понима́ть э́то обра́тно.[8] Действи́тельно, в полови́не двена́дцатого прие́хал знамени́тый до́ктор. Опя́ть пошли́ выслу́шиванья и значи́тельные разгово́ры при нём и в друго́й ко́мнате о по́чке, о слепо́й кишке́ и вопро́сы и отве́ты с таки́м значи́тельным ви́дом, что опя́ть вме́сто реа́льного вопро́са о жи́зни и сме́рти, кото́рый уже́ тепе́рь оди́н стоя́л пе́ред ним, вы́ступил вопро́с о по́чке и слепо́й кишке́, кото́рые что́-то де́лали не так, как сле́довало, и на кото́рые за э́то вот-во́т нападу́т Михаи́л Дани́лович и знамени́тость и заста́вят их испра́виться.
Знамени́тый до́ктор прости́лся с серьёзным, но не с безнадёжным ви́дом. И на ро́бкий вопро́с, кото́рый с по́днятыми к нему́ блестя́щими стра́хом и наде́ждой глаза́ми обрати́л Ива́н Ильи́ч, есть ли возмо́жность вы́здоровления, отвеча́л, что руча́ться нельзя́, но возмо́жность есть. Взгляд наде́жды, с кото́рым Ива́н Ильи́ч проводи́л до́ктора, был так жа́лок, что, увида́в его́, Праско́вья Фёдоровна да́же запла́кала, выходя́ из двере́й кабине́та, что́бы переда́ть гонора́р знамени́тому до́ктору.
Подъём ду́ха, произведённый обнадёживанием до́ктора, продолжа́лся недо́лго. Опя́ть та же ко́мната, те же карти́ны, гарди́ны, обо́и, скля́нки и то же своё боля́щее, страда́ющее те́ло. И Ива́н Ильи́ч на́чал стона́ть; ему́ сде́лали вспры́скиванье, и он забы́лся.
Когда́ он очну́лся, ста́ло смерка́ться; ему́ принесли́ обе́дать. Он пое́л с уси́лием бульо́на и опя́ть то же, и опя́ть наступа́ющая ночь.
По́сле обе́да, в семь часо́в, в ко́мнату его́ вошла́ Праско́вья Фёдоровна, оде́тая как на ве́чер, с то́лстыми, подтя́нутыми грудя́ми и с следа́ми пу́дры на лице́. Oна́ ещё у́тром напомина́ла ему́ о пое́здке их в теа́тр. Была́ прие́зжая Са́рра Берна́р, и у них была́ ло́жа, кото́рую он настоя́л, чтоб они́ взя́ли.[9] Тепе́рь он забы́л про э́то, и её наря́д оскорби́л его́. Но он скрыл своё оскорбле́ние, когда́ вспо́мнил, что он сам наста́ивал, чтоб они доста́ли ло́жу и е́хали, потому́ что э́то для дете́й воспита́тельное эстети́ческое наслажде́ние.
Праско́вья Фёдоровна вошла́ дово́льная собо́ю, но как бу́дто винова́тая. Она́ присе́ла, спроси́ла о здоро́вье, как он ви́дел, для того́ то́лько, чтоб спроси́ть, но не для того́, что́бы узна́ть, зна́я, что и узнава́ть не́чего, и начала́ говори́ть то, что ей ну́жно бы́ло: что она́ ни за что́ не пое́хала бы, но ло́жа взята́, и е́дут Эле́н и дочь и Петри́щев (суде́бный сле́дователь, жени́х до́чери), и что невозмо́жно их пусти́ть одни́х. А что ей так бы прия́тнее бы́ло посиде́ть с ним. То́лько бы он де́лал без неё по предписа́нию до́ктора.
– Да, и Фёдор Петро́вич (жени́х) хоте́л войти́. Мо́жно? И Ли́за.
Вошла́ дочь разоде́тая, с обнажённым молоды́м те́лом, тем те́лом, кото́рое так заставля́ло страда́ть его́. А она́ его́ выставля́ла. Си́льная, здоро́вая, очеви́дно влюблённая и негоду́ющая на боле́знь, страда́ния и смерть, меша́ющие её сча́стью.
Вошёл и Фёдор Петро́вич во фра́ке, завито́й à la Capoul,[10] с дли́нной жили́стой ше́ей, обло́женной пло́тно бе́лым воротничко́м, с огро́мной бе́лой гру́дью и обтя́нутыми си́льными ля́жками в у́зких чёрных штана́х, с одно́й натя́нутой бе́лой перча́ткой на руке́ и с кла́ком.[11]
За ним вполз незаме́тно и гимнази́стик в но́веньком мунди́рчике, бедня́жка, в перча́тках и с ужа́сной синево́й под глаза́ми, значе́ние кото́рой знал Ива́н Ильи́ч.
Сын всегда́ жа́лок был ему́. И стра́шен был его́ испу́ганный и соболе́знующий взгляд. Кро́ме Гера́сима, Ива́ну Ильичу́ каза́лось, что оди́н Ва́ся понима́л и жале́л.
Все се́ли, опя́ть спроси́ли о здоро́вье. Произошло́ молча́ние. Ли́за спроси́ла у ма́тери о бино́кле. Произошли́ пререка́ния ме́жду ма́терью и до́черью, кто куда́ его́ дел. Вы́шло неприя́тно.
Фёдор Петро́вич спроси́л у Ива́на Ильича́, ви́дел ли он Са́рру Берна́р. Ива́н Ильи́ч не по́нял снача́ла того́, что у него́ спра́шивали, а пото́м сказа́л:
– Да, в "Adrienne Lecouvreur".
Праско́вья Фёдоровна сказа́ла, что она́ осо́бенно хороша́ в то́м-то. Дочь возрази́ла. Начался́ разгово́р об изя́ществе и реа́льности её игры́, – тот са́мый разгово́р, кото́рый всегда́ быва́ет оди́н и тот же.[12]
В середи́не разгово́ра Фёдор Петро́вич взгляну́л на Ива́на Ильича́ и замо́лк. Други́е взгляну́ли и замо́лкли. Ива́н Ильи́ч смотре́л блестя́щими глаза́ми пред собо́ю, очеви́дно, негоду́я на них. На́до бы́ло попра́вить э́то, но попра́вить ника́к нельзя́ бы́ло. На́до бы́ло ка́к-нибудь прерва́ть э́то молча́ние. Никто́ не реша́лся, и всем станови́лось стра́шно, что вдруг нару́шится ка́к-нибудь прили́чная ложь, и я́сно бу́дет всем то, что есть. Ли́за пе́рвая реши́лась. Она́ прервала́ молча́нье. Она́ хоте́ла скрыть то, что все испы́тывали, но проговори́лась.
– Одна́ко, е́сли е́хать, то пора́, - сказа́ла она́, взгляну́в на свои́ часы́, пода́рок отца́, и чуть заме́тно, значи́тельно о чём-то, им одни́м изве́стном, улыбну́лась молодо́му челове́ку и вста́ла, зашуме́в пла́тьем. Все вста́ли, прости́лись и уе́хали.
Когда́ они́ вы́шли, Ива́ну Ильичу́ показа́лось, что ему́ ле́гче, лжи не бы́ло, – она́ ушла́ с ни́ми, но боль оста́лась. Всё та же боль, всё тот же страх де́лали то, что ничто́ не тяже́ле, ничто́ не ле́гче. Всё ху́же.
Опя́ть пошли́ мину́та за мину́той, час за ча́сом, всё то же, и всё нет конца́, и всё страшне́е неизбе́жный коне́ц.[13]
– Да, пошли́те Гера́сима, - отве́тил он на вопро́с Петра́.
- The use of a plural verb form ("ushli") with a singular subject ("Vasily Ivanovich") is a mark of deference shown by a social inferior when speaking of a social superior. The use of this form of speech by Peter is normal in the conventional interactions between master and servant, and is in marked contrast with the explicitly noted use of the familiar form of address by Gerasim several paragraphs earlier ↵
- The word "zabyt'sja" (lit., "to forget oneself") may be defined in Russian as "terjat' soznanie" ("to lose consciousness"). The centrality of "consciousness" in Tolstoy's world-view has been mentioned before. Ivan Ilich's desire to "lose consciousness" is an oblique admission that the distressed condition of his consciousness is a much worse problem than his deteriorating physical condition. Thus, the text keeps insisting that the pain of the falseness and lying all around him is much worse than his physical suffering. It is as though Ivan Ilich believes that if he could just lull his consciousness to sleep it would stop hurting him, stop insisting on the truth that it is dying or as good as dead, and permit the return of the comforting illusion that it is merely that his body, his physical self is ill. Consciousness is thereby identified with an inner, spiritual self which is making itself ever more insistently present as Ivan Ilich's bodily strength and confidence wanes. ↵
- The usual way to say that one feels cold in Russian is to use the impersonal expression: "mne xolodno" (lit., "to me (it) is cold") The doctor, however, uses the personal expression "ja xoloden" (lit., "I am cold") and thereby comes perilously close to the expression "ja xolodnyj" ("I am a cold (i.e., unfeeling) person"). This is another of the many examples of the significant hidden beneath the trivial and of the unwitting declaration of the truth. We remember the brother-in-law's comment in Chapter Six: "Why, he's a dead man." ↵
- That is, to use a very informal and playful version of the standard question: "kak dela" ("how are things going"). Given the prominent role of card games as a metaphor for the empty and artificial life of Ivan Ilich, one might well imagine the doctor inquiring "How's tricks?" ↵
- The cliche "vsemi silami dushi" ("with all the strength of (his) soul") also, of course, suggests that Ivan Ilich does after all, at least, have a soul which is capable of strong sensations, and therefore that he may not be completely lost spiritually., ↵
- This very important passage conveys several messages simultaneously. The most obvious concerns the attitude which both the doctor and Praskovya Fyodorovna have adopted toward Ivan Ilich and his illness. The Russian word which Maude translates as "adopted" is 'vyrabotal' ('worked out', 'constructed by effort'), suggesting the artificiality of their relation to him (despite their pleas of sincerity). The doctor's inability to "abandon" this attitude and Praskovya Fyodorovna's inability to "change" it are both reflections of the same Russian word 'snjat'' ('to take down', 'to take off, as clothing or covers'). Thus, the attitude which they have adopted toward him is a covering or screen (metaphorically, perhaps, a protective garment) which they have put between him and themselves. Once again, the familiar image of screens, curtains, fences, walls, enclosures, which we have seen so often in the attitudes of Ivan Ilich himself. A second point emerging from this passage is that Praskovya Fyodorovna's superficial attitude toward him is one of loving concern while at the same time it is clear that her actual attitude is one of hostile impatience for his death, that is, that her real attitude is the opposite of her professed attitude. A couple of paragraphs farther down she makes the facetiously intended but none the less curious statement that everything she does for him is done "for my own sake." The text adds this explanation: "He felt that he was surrounded and enmeshed in such a web of falsity that it was hard to unravel anything. Everything she did for him was entirely for her own sake; she told him she was doing for herself what she actually was doing for herself, as if that was so incredible he must understand the opposite." From this it emerges that the truth can be known by understanding everything we observe as its opposite. Thus, when Praskovya Fyodorovna says facetiously that she is doing what she is doing only for herself, we should understand that she actually means this seriously. Conversely, her "loving reproaches" are really manifestations of hatred. Finally, since it is in fact true that Praskovya Fyodorovna really is concerned only with herself--that is, she is telling the truth here--perhaps it is possible that the other claim she makes here is also true, namely her suggestion that Ivan Ilich "was not doing something he ought to do and was himself to blame" for his condition. She, of course, believes herself to be speaking of her husband's physiological distress, just as, in the case of her other comment she believes herself to be speaking facetiously. With respect to her husband's spiritual distress, however, it may be that she is unwittingly speaking the exact truth. What is required is to understand both what she says and what we as readers seem to see in reverse, the other way around, backwards (Russ. 'obratno') in order to see the situation rightly. Therefore, it is certain that her complaint that lying with his legs up on Gerasim's shoulders is "bad for him" (since she means it seriously) is bound to be wrong. In fact, contact of this sort with Gerasim must be good for Ivan Ilich. Following this line of thought we soon come to the conclusion that all the while we were being presented with what seemed to be an account of Ivan Ilich's life, we were actually seeing the story of his death, and now, when we seem to be observing the increasingly rapid process of his death, we are actually seeing the beginnings of renewed life. The major idea to be grasped from this passage is that Ivan Ilich himself by not "doing what he ought" has brought his spiritual illness and death upon himself. ↵
- The use of the word "obsudjat" ("will discuss to a conclusion") suggests most clearly that not only is the behavior of the doctors like the behavior of the judges Ivan Ilich knows from his life at court (as noted earlier) but actually is virtually the same thing as their behavior. The word "obsudit'" is derived from the same root from which come "sud" ("a court, legal process"), "sud'ja" ("a judge"), "sudit'" ("to judge, render judgement"). This conclusion is confirmed by the playfully condemnatory tone of the doctor in blaming the patient for his foolish actions and his generously being willing to forgive him. ↵
- In Chapter Twelve Ivan Ilich's attempt to understand what his life has been is compared to the "sensation one sometimes experiences in a railway carriage when one thinks one is going backwards while one is really going forwards and suddenly becomes aware of the real direction." This confirms the idea presented in note 6, above, that this pattern of reversal is a characteristic feature of the structure of the novel. ↵
- Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923), a world-famous French actress, toured Russia in the winter of 1882-83. ↵
- Joseph Capoul (1839-1924) a French opera singer known for a hairstyle which featured curls falling over the forehead. ↵
- The descriptions of the clothing of Praskovya Fyodorovna and Fyodor Petrovich make emphatic use of words suggesting the constriction of their dress: Praskovya Fyodorovna with her "tolstymi podtjanutymi grud'jami" ("plump, tightly cinched, breasts"); Fyodor Petrovich with his "sheej, oblozhennoj plotno belym vorotnichkom" ("neck tightly encased by a white collar"), his "ogromnoj beloj grud'ju" ("enormous white breast"), his "obtjanutymi sil'nymi ljazhkami v uzkix chernyx shtanax" ("strong thighs fitted tightly in narrow black trousers"), and his "natjanutoj beloj perchatkoj na ruke" ("white glove drawn tautly onto his hand"). The suggestion would seem to be that even in the matter of clothing these people find it necessary to enclose themselves, hem themselves in, providing a visible refrain to the immediate cause of Ivan Ilich's despair, just prior to these descriptions: "the same old room, the same old curtains, the same little bottles." ↵
- One of Sarah Bernhardt's most famous roles was that of Adrienne Lecouvreur in the play of that name by Scribe and Legouve. The heroine of the play is herself an actress, so we are presented here with the family's desire to hasten away from the bedside of its dying father and husband in order to be present at a play (an exercise in pretending and voluntary self-deception) in which the lead actress is most admired for her portrayal of the life of another actress. The distance between the family's proposed activity and the reality of life is astonishingly great. The detailed emphasis on their manner of dress, their costumes, as it were, is entirely in the same spirit. Of course, the family's ability to carry on with its plan of an evening at the theater is made possible in the first place only by pretending that Ivan Ilich is only ill rather than dying. Ivan Ilich resents most of all that he is required to join the family in this pretense. Only Ivan Ilich's son is exempt from the hatred which Ivan Ilich feels toward his family for their constant lying about his condition and their insistence that he, too, join them in this lie. The son, Vasya, is mentioned here in the same sentence with Gerasim, the only other character who deals truthfully with Ivan Ilich, and who touches him in a meaningful way. In Chapter Twelve, Ivan Ilich's moment of grace coincides with his hand being grasped by his son. In the context of this passage, we might say that Gerasim and Vasya are concerned with life itself while the rest of the family and household prefers to deal with the imitation of life, both on the stage and in their own lives. ↵
- There would seem to be a paradox here in that "there is no end" and the "end is inescapable" are asserted in contiguous clauses. This foreshadows Ivan Ilich's attitude toward the image of the "black sack" which will make its first appearance in Chapter Nine. He feels that "he and his pain" are being pushed into a constricting black sack and that he "was frightened yet wanted to fall through the sack, he struggled but yet co-operated." This ambivalence is associated with Ivan Ilich's gradual realization that his life, as he has lived it, is not a real life at all, but only the semblance of a life, a playing at life. If life is not life, then is it death? And what then is the end of that life that is not life? The reversal, the looking at things backward which is so often seen in the text has its ultimate significance in the idea that Ivan Ilich's life is actually death and only the end of that false life offers the possibility of true life. "Life" is death and "death" is life. ↵
(It) was morning
(It) was morning only because Gerasim had left
and Peter the man-servant had arrived, put out the candles, opened one curtain, and begun quietly to tidy up
Whether (it) was morning or evening, whether (it) was Friday (or) Sunday--everything was all the same, everything was one and the same (thing)
the aching, not for (a single) moment ever quieting down, tormenting pain
the consciousness of his hopelessly ever departing but still not yet (finally) departed life
the always oncoming fearful, hateful death
which alone was reality
and always the same lie
What sort (of things) here (i.e., in such a case) are days, weeks, and hours of the day
Will (you) order tea
For him (there) needs to be order, that the master and mistress should drink tea in the mornings
thought he and said only
No
Would you like to move over onto the couch
He must put the room in order
and I am in his way (lit., hindering), I am uncleanness, disorder
No, leave me (be)
The man-servant bustled about some more
Ivan Ilich put out his hand
Peter came up solicitously
What will you order
(My) watch
Peter got the watch, (which) was lying at hand, and gave (it to him)
Half past eight. (I suppose) (they) aren't up yet there
By no means, sir
Vasily Ivanovich (this was the son) has gone to school
and Praskovya Fyodorovna gave orders to awaken her (lit., them), if you will ask
Will you (so) order
No, (it) is not necessary
Should (I) try some tea
thought he
Yes, some tea . . . bring
Peter went to the door (lit., the exit)
For Ivan Ilich (it) had become frightening to be left alone
By what (means) to hold him back? Yes, the medicine
Peter, give me (my) medicine
Why (not), maybe even the medicine will help some
He poured out (lit., took) a spoonful, drank (it)
No, (it) won't help
All this is nonsense, deception, decided he
as soon as he sensed the familiar, sickly sweet, and hopeless taste
No, (I) can no longer believe
But the pain, the pain, what's (it) for
if only (it) would grow quiet for a minute
And he groaned
Peter turned back
No, go. Bring some tea
Peter left
Ivan Ilich, having been left alone
began to groan not so much from the pain, however terrible it was, as from emotional anguish
Always the same and the same
all these endless days and nights
If only (it) would be faster
What (would be) faster
Death, the dark
No,no. Anything is better than death
When Peter came in with tea on a tray
Ivan Ilich for a long time distractedly looked at him
not understanding who he is and what he is (doing)
Peter got confused from that look
And when Peter got confused, Ivan Ilich came to himself (lit., opened his eyes)
Yes, said he, tea . . . good, put it (down)
Only help me to wash and (put on) a clean shirt
And Ivan Ilich began to wash
He with (intermittent) rest washed (his) hands, face, cleaned (his) teeth
(he) began to comb his hair and looked in the mirror
He became frightened (lit., to him (it) became frightening)
particularly frightening was how (his) hair squeezed itself flatly to his pale forehead
While (they) were changing his shirt
he knew that for him it will be still more frightening
if he will look at his body
and (he) did not look at himself
But here everything was finished
He put on (his) robe
covered himself with a plaid (shawl) and sat down to tea in an armchair
For one minute he felt freshened
but he had just begun to drink (his) tea
again that same taste, that same pain
He with an effort finished drinking (his tea) and lay down, having stretched out (his) legs
He lay down and dismissed Peter
Always the same thing
Now a drop of hope will glisten
now a sea of despair will storm (around him)
and always the pain, always the pain, always the anguish, and always one and the same thing
For one alone (it) is terribly depressing
(he) wants to call someone
but he knows in advance that in the presence of others (it) is still worse
If only (I were to take) morphine again, to become oblivious (lit., to forget myself)
I will tell him, the doctor, that he should think up something else
This is impossible, impossible this way
An hour, two go by this way
Bot here the bell (rings) in the entrance hall
Maybe the doctor
Exactly, it's the doctor
fresh, brisk, plump, cheerful
with the expression (that says) well you got scared of something there, but we will now fix everything up (lit., arrange everything) for you
The doctor knows that this expression does no good here
but he has already once and for all put it on and cannot take (it) off
like a man (who) having put on his frock coat in the morning and is going about on visits (i.e., is out calling on people)
The doctor briskly, comfortingly rubs his hands
I'm cold
(There) is a fine (lit., healthy) frost
Let me warm myself
says he with such an expression that (is) as if (it) is only necessary to wait a bit, while he will warm himself, and when he will have warmed himself, then already (he) will make everything right
Well, what (is going on), how (are you)
Ivan Ilich senses that the doctor would like to say
How's every little thing
but that he (i.e., the doctor), too, senses that (it) is impermissible to say (this) and says (instead) How did you pass the night
Ivan Ilich looks at the doctor with an expression (which seems to ask the) question
Will (it) really never become shameful to you to lie
But the doctor does not want to understand the question
And Ivan Ilich says
Everything is just as terrible (as always)
The pain does not pass, does not relent
If only (there were) something (else)
Yes, well you patients always (behave) this way
Well, sir, now it seems I have warmed myself up
even the very fussy Praskovya Fyodorovna would have nothing to object (to) against my temperature
Well, sir, hello
And the doctor shakes (his) hand
And, having shrugged off all (his) former playfulness
the doctor begins with a serious expression to examine the patient
pulse, temperature, and (then) begin the palpations (lit., the tappings), the auscultations (lit., the listenings)
Ivan Ilich knows firmly and indubitably
that all this is nonsense and empty deception
but when the docctor, having gotten down onto his knees
stretches himself out above him, applying (his) ear now higher, now lower
and executes (lit., does) above him with a most significant (expression on his) face various gymnastic maneuvers
Ivan Ilich submits to this as he submitted, formerly, to the speeches of attorneys
even though he knew very well that they are always lying and why (they) are lying
The doctor, kneeling (lit., standing on (his) knees) on the couch
(the doctor) was still tapping away at something when the silk dress of Praskovya Fyodorovna rustled in the doorway
and was heard her reproach to Peter that (they) had not reported to her about the arrival of the doctor
She enters, kisses (her) husband, and begins at once to prove
that she has gotten up already long before and (it was) only on account of some misunderstanding (that) she had not been here when the doctor arrived
Ivan Ilich looks at her, examines her thoroughly
and puts down to her discredit (lit., puts to her in reproach) the whiteness (of her skin), and her plumpness, and the cleanness of her hands, of her neck, the shine of her hair and the sparkle of her eyes filled with life
He with all the strength of (his) soul hates her
and her touch makes him suffer from an upsurge of hatred for her
Her relationship to him and to his illness is always the same
As the doctor had worked out his relationship to (his) patients
which he could no longer take off
so she had worked out a relationship to him
the (relationship) that he is not doing something of what is necessary, and is himself to blame, and she lovingly reproaches him for this
and (she) could not any longer take off this relationship
Well really, he doesn't listen to (what the doctor says)
(He) doesn't take (his medicine) on time
And the main thing--he gets himself (lit., lies down) in such a position which, probably, is harmful for him--(with) his legs up
She told (the doctor) how he (Ivan Ilich) makes Gerasim hold his legs (up)
The doctor smiled scornfully-tenderly
What, says he, can one do
these patients think up sometimes such dumb things (to do)
but one may forgive (them)
When the examination was finished
the doctor looked at his watch
and then Praskovya Fyodorovna announced to Ivan Ilich
that (it shall be) as he wishes, but she today has invited a celebrated doctor
and he (lit., they [i.e., the regular doctor and the celebrated doctor] together with Michael Danilovich (that was the name of the regular doctor) would examine (him) and would arrive at a judgement
So just don't you object (lit. resist), please
This I do for myself, said she ironically
giving (people) to feel that she does everything for him and only (by saying it) in this (way) (she) does not let him have the right to refuse her
He was silent and knitted his brow
He felt that this lie surrounding him had so confused (things)
that it was already (too) difficult to figure anything out
She did everything over him only for herself
and (she) told him that she does for herself that which she really did for herself as (though it were) such an improbable thing
that he must understand this backwards (i.e., in reverse)
In fact, at half past eleven the celebrated doctor arrived
Again began (lit., started going) the auscultations and the significant conversations in his presence and in the other room
about the kidney, about the blind gut, and the questions and answers (are) with such a significant appearance
that again instead of the genuine question of life and death which already now stood alone before him
(there) arose (again) the question of the kidney and blind gut which were doing something not as (they) were supposed to and for this Michael Danilovich and the celebrity are all set to attack them and force them to make themselves right
The celebrity doctor said good-bye with a serious, but not with a hopeless appearance
And to the timid question with which, with eyes raised to him shining with fear and hope, Ivan Ilich turned (to him)
(the question) whether there is a possibility of recovering
(the doctor) answered that it is not possible to promise but there is a possiblity
The look of hope with which Ivan Ilich saw the doctor off was so pitiful
that, having seen it, Praskovya Fyodorovna even started to cry while going out through the doorway of the study
in order to pass along the fee to the celebrity doctor
The lifting of the spirit produced by the encouragement of the doctor did not last long
Again the very same room
the very same pictures, curtains, wallpaper, (medicine) bottles
and his very same pain-ridden, suffering body
And Ivan Ilich began to groan
(They) gave him an injection, and he sank into oblivion (lit., forgot himself)
When he regained consciousness (it) had started to grow dark
(they) brought him (his) dinner (lit., brought him (food) to have dinner)
He ate some bouillon with an effort
and again the very same (thing), and again the approaching night.
After dinner, at seven o'clock
into his room came Praskovya Fyodorovna
dressed as (though to go out) for the evening, with plump, cinched up breasts and with traces of powder on (her) face
She already in the morning had reminded him about their trip to the theater
Sarah Bernhardt was on tour
and they had a box
which he had insisted that they should take
Now he had forgotten about this
and her finery offended him
But he concealed his offendedness (i.e., his hurt feelings)
when (he) recalled that he himself insisted
that they would get the box and go
because this is an educational aesthetic enjoyment for the children
Praskovya Fyodorovna came in, pleased with herself, but as though (feeling) guilty
She sat down (near him)
(she) asked about (his) health, as he saw, only in order to ask, but not in order to find out
knowing that there is nothing to find out
and (she) began to tell (him) what (it) was necessary for her (to say)
that she wouldn't go for anything
but the box is taken, and Helène and (their) daughter and Petrishchev (the examining magistrate, the fiancé of (their) daughter) are going
and that (it) is impossible to let them (go) alone
But that for her (it) would really be more pleasant to sit with him (i.e., with Ivan Ilich) for a while
Only without her he should do (everything) in accordance with the order(s) of the doctor
Yes, and Fyodor Petrovich (the fiancé) wanted to come in
May (he)
Liza too
Let (them) come in
The daughter came in elaborately dressed, with her young body bared (lit., made naked)
the body which so (much) made him suffer
And she was flaunting it
(She is) strong, healthy, obviously in love
and displeased with the illness, sufferings, and death, (which are) interfering with her happiness
Fyodor Petrovich, in evening dress, also came in
(with his hair) curled à la Capoul
with (his) long, sinewy neck tightly encased by a white collar
with (his) enormous white breast (i.e., his starched shirt front) and his strong thighs fitted tightly in narrow black trousers
with one white glove drawn tautly on (his) hand and with an opera hat (in it)
After him crept in unnoticed also the school-boy (i.e., Ivan Ilich's teen-age son) in (his) new little uniform
the poor fellow, in gloves and with terrible shadows (lit., a terrible dark-blueness) under his eyes, the significance of which Ivan Ilich knew
(His) son had always seemed (lit., been) pitiable to him
And his (i.e., the son's) scared and sympathetic look was frightening
Besides Gerasim, to Ivan Ilich (it) seemed, that only Vasya understood and pitied him
Everyone sat down, again asked about (his) health
Silence occurred
Liza asked (her) mother about the opera glasses
Cross words occurred between mother and daughter (about) who had put them (the opera glasses) where
(It) came out unpleasantly
Fyodor Petrovich asked Ivan Ilich
whether he had (ever) seen Sarah Bernhardt
Ivan Ilich did not understand at first what (they) were asking him, but then said
No; and have you seen (her) before
Yes, in "Adrienne Lecouvreur"
Praskovya Fyodorovna said that she was particularly good in that
The daughter objected
(There) began a conversation about the elegance and realism of her acting (lit., of her playing)
that very conversation which is always one and the same
In the middle of the conversation Fyodor Petrovich looked at Ivan Ilich and fell silent
The others looked and fell silent
Ivan Ilich was looking with glittering eyes in front of himself
apparently being displeased with them
(It) was necessary to put this right
but to put (it) right was in no way possible
(It) was necessary somehow to break this silence
No one (could) make up their mind (to do so [i.e., break the silence]) and everyone was getting fearful
that suddenly would collapse somehow the decorous lie
and that which (really) is will be clear to everyone
Liza first made up her mind (to take action)
She broke the silence
She wanted to conceal that which (they) all were experiencing, but (she) said too much (i.e., her attitude and words "let the cat out of the bag")
However, if (we're going) to go, then it's time, said she
having looked at her watch, a gift of her father
and barely noticeably, significantly (she) smiled at the young man about something known to them alone
and (she) got up, (her) dress having rustled
Everyone got up, said good-bye, and left
When they had gone out (it) seemed to Ivan Ilich that he felt more at ease (lit., lighter), there was no lie
it (i.e., the lying) had left with them, but the pain remained
Always the same pain, the same fear made (it) that (there is) nothing (any) heavier (i.e. any harder to bear), nothing (any) easier
Ever worse (and worse)
Again minute went after minute, hour after hour
always the same and always there is no end
and ever more fearful is the inescapable end
Yes, send Gerasim, replied he (Ivan Ilich) to a question of Peter
