A Fully Glossed Russian Text of “The Death of Ivan Ilich” with Explanatory and Interpretive Annotations
Chapter 11
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- The tone of Liza's remarks here is the conventional one adopted by people who feel wounded by misdirected anger or blame: "Well, how is it OUR fault? He acts as though WE did this to him!" As so often, however, under the conventional and obvious meaning of the text is hidden the possibility of a more genuine, direct, and specific significance: "How ARE we to blame? It's we OURSELVES who have done this!" This makes the passage resonate, if subtly and obliquely, with Ivan Ilich's own reflections about whether he may have lived his life wrongly and his attitude of offended disbelief that such an incredible possibility might even be suggested. ↵
- Again a reprise of the question that has so troubled Ivan Ilich, and the suggestion that the answer may be the same: that we have lived wrongly. ↵
- The grammar of this sentence is that which would be used to say that a lawyer is defending an accused client before the court; Ivan Ilich is portrayed as being both lawyer and judge in the most important case he has ever heard: his own life is on trial. He himself is now in the position that we as readers have been in ever since our judicial guide, Peter Ivanovich, abandoned us to go play bridge after the funeral service at the end of Chapter One. ↵
- The Russian makes quite clear Ivan Ilich's personal responsibility for the fact that his life was "wrong" (Russ. "ne to"). Maude's translation: "I've lost all that was given to me" is more accurately rendered as "I ruined (Russ. "pogubil") everything that was given to me." ↵
- Which is as much as to say that the "life" he has led is "not that at all" and so is indistinguishable from death. ↵
- The usual words are "Pozdravljaju s prichastiem!" ("(I) congratulate (you) on communing (i.e., on having received the sacrament). ↵
- One of the sensations of this new dimension of Ivan Ilich's pain is described as "screwing into him," expressed by the verb "vintit'" (from the word "vint" [Eng., "screw"]). The reader cannot fail to notice the bitter irony in the fact that this same verb means "to play vint," the card game of which Ivan Ilich has been so fond. His life as he has lived it is the ultimate source of his pain and is, in fact, not life at all, but a form of death. ↵
Thus passed two weeks
In these weeks took place an event wished for by Ivan Ilich and his wife
Petrishchev made a formal proposal
This happened in the evening
On the next day Praskovya Fyodorovna came in to (see her) husband
thinking over how to make the announcement to him about Fyodor Petrovich's proposal
but in that very night a new change for the worse had occurred with Ivan Ilich
Praskovya Fyodorovna found him on that same couch, but in a new position
He was lying flat on his back
(he) was groaning and staring straight ahead of himself with a fixed (lit., stopped) look
She started to speak about medicines
He transferred his look to her
She could not (lit., did not) finish saying that which she had begun
such angry malice, (aimed) precisely at her, was expressed in that look
For the sake of Christ let me die in peace, said he
She wanted to leave, but at that time the daughter came in and came up to say hello
He looked at (his) daughter in the same way as (he had) at (his) wife
and to her questions about (his) health (he) said dryly to her
that he soon will free them all from himself
Both (of the women) fell silent, sat for a while, and (then) went out
In what are we to blame, said Liza to (her) mother
(It's as though it's) precisely we (who) have done this
I'm sorry for papa, but why torment us
At the usual time the doctor arrived
Ivan Ilich answered him (only with) "yes" (or) "no"
not lowering from him (his) angered look, and at the end (he) said
You know very well than nothing will help, so leave (me alone)
To relieve the sufferings (is something we) can (do), said the doctor
(You) can't do that either; leave (me)
The doctor went out into the parlor and informed Praskovya Fyodorovna
that (it) is very bad and that (there) is only one remedy
opium, in order to relieve (his) sufferings which must be terrible
The doctor meant to say that his physical sufferings are terrible, and that was true
but more terrible than his physical sufferings were his moral sufferings, and in this was his main torment
His moral sufferings consisted in this, that in that night, looking at Gerasim's sleepy, kindhearted (etymologically, "good souled") face with its high cheek bones
suddenly (it) came into his head "and what if in fact all my life, (my) conscious life was not what it should have been"
(It) came into (his) head
that that which had formerly presented itself to him as a complete impossibility
the idea that he had lived his life not in the way that he should have
that this could could have been the truth
that those barely noticeable feeble attempts of his of struggle against that which was considered good by the most highly placed people
the barely noticeable feeble attempts which he immediately would drive away from himself
that it is they that might have been the real (thing)
and all the rest might have been wrong
and his work in the service, and his arrangements of (his) life, and his family, and these social and professional interests--all this might have been wrong (lit., "not the thing" he should have been concerned with)
He tried to defend all this before himself
And suddenly (he) felt all the weakness of that which he is defending
And there was nothing to defend
And if this is so, said he to himself
and I am departing from life with the consciousness of the fact that (I) have ruined everything that was given to me, and to put it right is impossible, then what
He lay down flat on his back and began completely anew to go through his whole life
When he saw in the morning the servant, then (his) wife, then (his) daughter, then the doctor
every movement of theirs, every word of theirs confirmed for him the terrible truth, (which) had revealed itself to him in the night
In them he saw himself, all those things by which he had lived
and (he) clearly saw that all that was not the thing (it should have been)
all that was a terrible, enormous deception, (which) hides both life and death
This consciousness increased his physical sufferings, (it) made them ten-fold greater
He groaned and thrashed about and pulled at his clothes
To him (it) seemed that it (his clothes) was smothering and crushing him
And for this he hated them
To him (they) gave a large dose of opium, he lost consciousness
but at dinner (time) (i.e., in early afternoon) the same thing began again
He drove all (of them) away from himself and thrashed about from place to place (i.e., from side to side)
(His) wife came to him and said
Jean, my dear, do this for me (for me?)
This cannot hurt
but (it) often helps
What the (heck), this is nothing
Even healthy people often
He opened his eyes wide
What? To take communion? Why? (It) is not necessary
But even so
She began crying
Yes, my friend?
I will call our (priest), he is such a dear person
Excellent, very good, said he
When the priest came and was confessing him
he softened, felt as though (there is) relief from his doubts and, as a result of that, from (his) sufferings
and a minute of hope came upon him
He again began to think about the blind gut and the possibility of putting it right
He took communion with tears in his eyes
When (they) laid him down after communion
for him (it) became easy for a minute
and again (there) appeared hope for life
He began to think about the operation, which (they) had proposed to him
To live, (I) want to live, said he to himself
(His) wife came to congratulate (him)
she said the usual words
and added
Isn't it true, you feel better (i.e., There now, don't you feel better?
He, not looking at her, said, "yes"
Her clothes, her figure, the expression of her face, the sound of her voice--everything said to him (just) one thing
(It) is not the right thing
All of that by which you lived and are living is a lie, a deception, (which) hides life and death from you
And as soon as he thought that
his hatred rose up and together with (his) hatred (his) physical tormenting sufferings
and with the sufferings the consciousness of inescapable, nearby perishing
Something new happened
(it) began to screw (into him), to shoot, to crush (his) breathing
The expression of his face when he said "yes"
was terrible
Having said that "yes" while looking her straight in the face
he unusually for his weakness quickly turned face downward and cried out
Go away, go away, leave me
