A Fully Glossed Russian Text of “The Death of Ivan Ilich” with Explanatory and Interpretive Annotations
Chapter 5
Так шло ме́сяц и два. Пе́ред Но́вым го́дом прие́хал в их го́род его́ шу́рин и останови́лся у них. Ива́н Ильи́ч был в суде́. Праско́вья Фёдоровна е́здила за поку́пками. Войдя́ к себе́ в кабине́т, он заста́л там шу́рина, здоро́вого сангви́ника, самого́ раскла́дывающего чемода́н. Он по́днял го́лову на шаги́ Ива́на Ильича́ и погляде́л на него́ секу́нду мо́лча. Э́тот взгляд всё откры́л Ива́ну Ильичу́. Шу́рин раскры́л рот, чтоб а́хнуть, и удержа́лся. Э́то движе́ние подтверди́ло всё.
И ско́лько Ива́н Ильи́ч ни наводи́л по́сле шу́рина на разгово́р о его́ вне́шнем ви́де, шу́рин отма́лчивался. Прие́хала Праско́вья Фёдоровна, шу́рин пошёл к ней. Ива́н Ильи́ч за́пер дверь на ключ и стал смотре́ться в зе́ркало – пря́мо, пото́м сбо́ку. Взял свой портре́т с жено́ю и сличи́л портре́т с тем, что он ви́дел в зе́ркале. Переме́на была́ огро́мная. Пото́м он оголи́л ру́ки до ло́ктя, посмотре́л, опусти́л рукава́, сел на оттома́нку и стал черне́е но́чи.
"Не на́до, не на́до", – сказа́л он себе́, вскочи́л, подошёл к столу́, откры́л де́ло, стал чита́ть его́, но не мог. Он о́тпер дверь, пошёл в за́лу. Дверь в гости́ную была́ затво́рена. Он подошёл к ней на цы́почках и стал слу́шать.
– Нет, ты преувели́чиваешь, - говори́ла Праско́вья Фёдоровна.
– Как преувели́чиваю? Тебе́ не ви́дно – он мёртвый человек, посмотри́ его́ глаза́. Нет све́та. Да что у него́?[1]
– Никто́ не зна́ет. Никола́ев (э́то был друго́й до́ктор) сказа́л что́-то, но я не зна́ю. Лещети́цкий (э́то был знамени́тый до́ктор) сказа́л напро́тив...
Ива́н Ильи́ч отошёл, пошёл к себе́, лёг и стал ду́мать: "По́чка, блужда́ющая по́чка".[2] Он вспо́мнил всё то, что ему́ говори́ли доктора́, как она́ оторвала́сь и как блужда́ет. И он уси́лием воображе́ния стара́лся пойма́ть э́ту по́чку и останови́ть, укрепи́ть её: так ма́ло ну́жно, каза́лось ему́. "Нет, пое́ду ещё к Петру́ Ива́новичу". (Э́то был тот прия́тель, у кото́рого был прия́тель до́ктор.) Он позвони́л, веле́л заложи́ть ло́шадь и собра́лся е́хать.
– Куда́ ты, Jean? – спроси́ла жена́ с осо́бенно гру́стным и непривы́чно до́брым выраже́нием.
Э́то непривы́чное до́брое озло́било его́. Он мра́чно посмотре́л на неё.[3]
– Мне на́до к Петру́ Ива́новичу.
Он пое́хал к прия́телю, у кото́рого был прия́тель до́ктор. И с ним к до́ктору. Он заста́л его́ и до́лго бесе́довал с ним.
Рассма́тривая анатоми́чески и физиологи́чески подро́бности о том, что, по мне́нию до́ктора, происходи́ло в нём, он всё по́нял.[4]
Была́ одна́ шту́чка, ма́ленькая шту́чка в слепо́й кишке́.[5] Всё э́то могло́ попра́виться. Уси́лить эне́ргию одного́ о́ргана, осла́бить де́ятельность друго́го, произойдёт вса́сывание, и всё поправится. Он немно́го опозда́л к обе́ду. Пообе́дал, ве́село поговори́л, но до́лго не мог уйти́ к себе́ занима́ться. Наконе́ц он пошёл в кабине́т и т́отчас же сел за рабо́ту. Он чита́л дела́, рабо́тал, но созна́ние того́, что у него́ есть отло́женное ва́жное задуше́вное де́ло, кото́рым он займётся по оконча́нии, не оставля́ло его́. Когда́ он ко́нчил дела́, он вспо́мнил, что э́то задуше́вное де́ло бы́ли мы́сли о слепо́й кишке́.[6] Но он не преда́лся им, он пошёл в гости́ную к ча́ю. Бы́ли го́сти, говори́ли и игра́ли на фортепиа́но, пе́ли; был суде́бный сле́дователь, жела́нный жени́х у до́чери. Ива́н Ильи́ч провёл ве́чер, по замеча́нию Праско́вьи Фёдоровны, веселе́е други́х, но он не забыва́л ни на мину́ту, что у него́ есть отло́женные ва́жные мы́сли о слепо́й кишке́. В оди́ннадцать часо́в он прости́лся и пошёл к себе́. Он спал оди́н со вре́мени свое́й боле́зни, в ма́ленькой ко́мнатке у кабине́та. Он пошёл, разде́лся и взял рома́н Золя́,[7] но не чита́л его́, а ду́мал. И в его́ воображе́нии происходи́ло то жела́нное исправле́ние слепой кишки́. Вса́сывалось, выбра́сывалось, восстановля́лась пра́вильная де́ятельность. "Да, э́то всё так, - сказа́л он себе́. – То́лько на́до помога́ть приро́де". Он вспо́мнил о лека́рстве, приподня́лся, при́нял его́, лёг на́ спину, прислу́шиваясь к тому́, как благотво́рно де́йствует лека́рство и как оно́ уничтожа́ет боль. "То́лько равноме́рно принима́ть и избега́ть вре́дных влия́ний; я уже́ тепе́рь чу́вствую не́сколько лу́чше, гора́здо лу́чше". Он стал щу́пать бок, - на о́щупь не бо́льно. "Да, я не чу́вствую, пра́во, уже́ гора́здо лу́чше". Он потуши́л свечу́ и лёг на́ бок... Слепа́я кишка́ исправля́ется, вса́сывается. Вдруг он почу́вствовал знако́мую ста́рую, глуху́ю, но́ющую боль, упо́рную, ти́хую, серьёзную.[8] Во рту та же знако́мая га́дость. Засоса́ло се́рдце, помути́лось в голове́. "Бо́же мой, Бо́же мой! - проговори́л он. – Опя́ть, опя́ть, и никогда́ не переста́нет". И вдруг ему́ де́ло предста́вилось совсе́м с друго́й стороны́. "Слепа́я кишка́? По́чка, - сказа́л он себе́. – Не в слепо́й кишке́, не в по́чке де́ло, а в жи́зни и... сме́рти. Да, жизнь была́ и вот ухо́дит, ухо́дит, и я не могу́ удержа́ть её. Да. Заче́м обма́нывать себя́? Ра́зве не очеви́дно всем, кро́ме меня́, что я умира́ю, и вопро́с то́лько в числе́ неде́ль, дней - сейча́с, мо́жет быть. То свет был, а тепе́рь мрак. То я здесь был, а тепе́рь туда́! Куда́?" Его́ о́бдало хо́лодом, дыха́ние останови́лось. Он слы́шал то́лько уда́ры се́рдца.
"Меня́ не бу́дет, так что же бу́дет? Ничего́ не бу́дет. Так где же я бу́ду, когда́ меня́ не бу́дет? Неуже́ли смерть? Нет, не хочу́". Он вскочи́л, хоте́л заже́чь све́чку, поша́рил дрожа́щими рука́ми, урони́л свечу́ с подсве́чником на́ пол и опя́ть повали́лся наза́д, на поду́шку." "Заче́м? Всё равно, - говори́л он себе́, откры́тыми глаза́ми гля́дя в темноту́. – Смерть. Да, смерть. И они́ никто́ не зна́ют, и не хотя́т знать, и не жале́ют. Они́ игра́ют. (Он слы́шал да́льние, из-за две́ри, раска́т го́лоса и ритурне́ли.) Им всё равно́, а они́ та́кже умру́т. Дурачьё. Мне ра́ньше, а им по́сле; и им то же бу́дет. А они́ ра́дуются. Скоты́!" Зло́ба души́ла его́. И ему́ ста́ло мучи́тельно, невыноси́мо тяжело́. Не мо́жет же быть, чтоб все всегда́ бы́ли обречены́ на э́тот ужа́сный страх. Он подня́лся.
"Что́-нибудь не так; на́до успоко́иться, на́до обду́мать всё снача́ла". И вот он на́чал обду́мывать. "Да, нача́ло боле́зни. Сту́кнулся бо́ком, и всё тако́й же я был, и ны́нче и за́втра; немно́го ны́ло, пото́м бо́льше, пото́м доктора́, пото́м уны́лость, тоска́, опя́ть доктора́; а я всё шёл бли́же, бли́же к про́пасти. Сил ме́ньше. Бли́же, бли́же. И вот я исча́х, у меня́ све́та в глаза́х нет. И смерть, а я ду́маю о кишке́. Ду́маю о том, что́бы почини́ть кишку́, а э́то смерть. Неуже́ли смерть?" Опя́ть на него́ нашёл у́жас, он запыха́лся, нагну́лся, стал иска́ть спи́чек, надави́л ло́ктем на ту́мбочку. Она́ меша́ла ему́ и де́лала бо́льно, он разозли́лся на неё, надави́л с доса́дой сильне́е и повали́л ту́мбочку. И в отча́янии задыха́ясь, он повали́лся на́ спину, ожида́я сейча́с же сме́рти.
Го́сти уезжа́ли в э́то вре́мя. Праско́вья Фёдоровна провожа́ла их. Она́ услыха́ла паде́ние и вошла́.
– Что ты?
Она́ вы́шла, принесла́ свечу́. Он лежа́л, тяжело́ и бы́стро-бы́стро дыша́, как челове́к, кото́рый пробежа́л версту́, останови́вшимися глаз́ами гля́дя на неё.
– Ниче...го́. У...ро...ни́л. – "Что же говори́ть. Она́ не поймёт", - ду́мал он.
Она́ то́чно не поняла́. Она́ подняла́, зажгла́ ему́ свечу́ и поспе́шно ушла́: ей на́до бы́ло проводи́ть го́стью.
Когда́ она́ верну́лась, он так же лежа́л на́взничь, гля́дя вверх.
– Да.
Она́ покача́ла голово́й, посиде́ла. – Зна́ешь, Jean, я ду́маю, не пригласи́ть ли Лещети́цкого на́ дом.
Это зна́чит знамени́того до́ктора пригласи́ть и не пожале́ть де́нег. Он ядови́то улыбну́лся и сказа́л; "Нет". Она́ посиде́ла, подошла́ и поцелова́ла его́ в лоб.
Он ненави́дел её все́ми си́лами души́ в то вре́мя, как она́ целова́ла его́,[9] и де́лал уси́лия, что́бы не оттолкну́ть её.
– Проща́й.[10] Бог даст, заснёшь.
– Да.
- The first four chapters of the novel have brought Ivan Ilich to a point where his illness has developed so far as to be out of control. So serious is the situation that Ivan Ilich seems already near death. His visiting brother-in-law here states that Ivan Ilich is already a dead man. This emphasis upon the extent to which Ivan's condition has already deteriorated continues throughout chapter five and at the end of chapter six he even imagines that he sees "death" looking at him from behind some flowers in the sitting room. The reader may well wonder why such emphasis is placed on Ivan's death, or his nearness to death, or the apparition of death at this point in the novel. After all, there are still six more chapters (half of the novel, if we are counting chapters) before he will in fact die. Let us note, at least, that Ivan is, in a sense, pronounced virtually dead already in chapters five and six, and that it is therefore possible that the final six chapters will be concerned to do more than provide further repetition of this motif. At the least it is clear that Ivan Ilich might as well be dead at this point, that his life is really just a kind of death. ↵
- According to Wikipedia "Nephroptosis (also called floating kidney or renal ptosis) is an abnormal condition in which the kidney drops down into the pelvis when the patient stands up." The Russian for "floating kidney" ("bluzhdajushchaja pochka") derives from the word "bluzhdat'" ("to roam, wander") and is etymologically related to the root "blud-" found in such words as "bludnitsa" ("loose woman, whore") and "bludnoj syn" (the Biblical "prodigal son"). Thus, there is a subtle implication of error or sin or improper behavior (a wandering beyond the permitted boundaries) in this possible diagnosis of "whatever is the matter with" Ivan Ilich. And yet we have been told that Ivan Ilich's life has been a model of staying within the bounds of decency and appropriateness. Two possibilities suggest themselves: the "floating kidney" has really nothing to do with what ails Ivan Ilich and is simply a mockery of the doctors' incompetence, or Ivan Ilich has mistaken the life he has been leading for real life (perhaps it has only been as real as a game of cards) and that he has mistakenly wandered away from real life into an inauthentic and counterfeit existence. In this case the pretentious incompetence of the doctors' is caused by their looking in the wrong place for the illness besetting Ivan Ilich; what is really besetting him is spiritual rather than material in origin. As always, the narrative is so constructed that both of these outlooks are correct with the spiritual narrative or view encased within the material one. ↵
- Note how Tolstoy colors Ivan Ilich's behavior. Here he "looked at her darkly"; earlier in the chapter his expression "became blacker than night." Thus, his actions in life take on the funereal color of death. This is in the same vein as the emphasis on the black clothing worn by all the living people in Chapter One of the novel and Ivan's particular resentment of Schwartz ("black" in German) whose liveliness and playfulness (=life is a game) remind him of himself in younger and healthier days. ↵
- Since this diagnosis, too, will come to nothing the phrasing here suggests that neither the anatomical nor the physiological facts have any relevance to the question of what is wrong with Ivan Ilich. ↵
- As the diagnosis of the floating kidney suggested the idea of "going astray" so, too, does the suspicion of trouble in the "blind gut" (i.e., the appendix) suggest the idea of the complete inability to see what is wrong, of blindness to the actual cause of Ivan Ilich's trouble. ↵
- Tolstoy uses the word "zadushevnyj" ("intimate, sincere") to describe the need to think inwardly about the "anatomical and physiological" details of the operation of the blind gut. The word "zadushevnyj," however, is derived from the root word "dusha" ("soul") and thus clearly suggests Ivan Ilich's complete confusion of his spiritual life with his physiological life; put another way, Ivan Ilich is unaware of his "soul," his spiritual life, and is spiritually dead. Even if only obliquely and etymologically, however, it would seem that, at last, and apparently for the first time in a long time, the conception of an inner, spiritual life has at last occurred to him. In Chapter Six he will remind himself that he "lived by his official duties," that he thought that his official life was his life. It is perhaps not strange then that he thinks that his inner life involves no more than the condition of his colon. Almost at once, though, his pain drives him to the thought that it is "not a question of my appendix or my kidney, but of life . . . and death" and soon thereafter: "I think of mending my appendix, and all the while here comes death!" Thus, the ground is prepared of the first mention, in Chapter Six, of an "inner voice," the voice of that life within, a life quite distinct from the life which Ivan Ilich has made for himself. ↵
- Emile Zola (1840-92), a French writer, author of many popular novels ↵
- Ivan Ilich's pain is here described by the use of seven modifiers. The first four are unsurprising: "familiar" (all too familiar), "old" (by now the pain is clearly "getting old"), "dull," "aching" (from the verb meaning "to whine, complain"). All of these might well be used by Ivan Ilich to characterize pain that is continual and tiresome if not excruciating, just the sort of pain to elicit a self-pitying whine. The last three modifiers, "insistent," "quiet," "serious," however, do not evoke the same spirit of complaint. They seem rather to suggest that there is some point to the pain, as though it were quietly, seriously, persistently trying to attract Ivan Ilich's attention. The connotation would seem to be that while pain is pain, there is also another dimension beyond, or perhaps within, the pain. ↵
- The phrase "with all the strength of his soul" is, of course, a common enough expression, but like many other such cliches in the text this one also bears a suggestive significance. In this case it suggests that, after all, Ivan Ilich does still have a soul and that soul hates the insincere affection of Praskovya Fyodorovna and the idea of calling in the doctor yet again, perhaps because it senses that medical care is irrelevant to the real, spiritual problem that is besetting Ivan Ilich ↵
- The use of the word "proshchaj" here is unusual and suggestive. It is most commonly used when bidding farewell before a long absence or at the bedside of a person on the verge of death. ↵
So (it) went on for a month and for two
(Just) before New Year his brother-in-law came to their city and stayed at their place
Ivan Ilich had been in court
Praskovya Fyodorovna was out shopping
Having gone into his own study
he (i.e., Ivan Ilich) there came upon (his) brother-in-law, a healthy, ruddy person, himself unpacking (his) suitcase
He raised his head at the footsteps of Ivan Ilich
and looked at him for a second in silence
That look revealed everything to Ivan Ilich
The brother-in-law opened his mouth wide in order to exclaim "akh" (i.e., meaning something like "oh, my goodness") and restrained himself
This movement confirmed everything
What, have (I) changed
Yes . . . there is a change
And however much Ivan Ilich would afterwards (try to) lead (his) brother-in-law into conversation about his (Ivan Ilich's) external appearance
the brother-in-law would keep silent
Praskovya Fyodorovna arrived
the brother-in-law went (out) to (see) her
Ivan Ilich locked the door and began to look at himself in the mirror
straight on, then from the side (i.e., full face, then in profile)
He took (up) his portrait with (his) wife
and compared the portrait with what he saw in the mirror
The change was enormous
Then he bared his arms to the elbow
(he) looked, rolled down (his) sleeves, sat down on an ottoman, and (his expression) became blacker than night
(It) mustn't (be so), (it) mustn't (be so)
said he to himself
(he) jumped up, went to (his) desk, opened a case (file), started to read it, but couldn't
He opened the door, went into the great room
The door to the parlor was open
He came up to it on tip-toes and began to listen
No, you are exaggerating, Praskovya Fyodorovna was saying
How (i.e., What do you mean) I'm exaggerating
To you (it) is invisible (i.e., You can't see it)
he is a dead man, look at his eyes
There is no light (in them)
But what does he have (i.e., Whatever is the matter with him)
No one knows
Nikolaev (this was another doctor) said something (or other), but I don't know
Leshchetitsky (this was the celebrated doctor) said the opposite
Ivan Ilich stepped back, went to his own room, lay down and began to think
The kidney, the floating kidney
He recalled everything that the doctors had told him
how it (the kidney) detached itself and how (it) wanders
And he by strength of imagination
tried to catch that kidney and stop (it), to strengthen it
so little is needed, (it) seemed to him
No, (I) will go once more to Peter Ivanovich
This was the acquaintance whose acquaintance was a doctor
He rang, ordered a horse to be harnessed, and got ready to go
Where (are) you (going), Jean (i.e., she's addressing him using the French equivalent of his name)
asked (his) wife with a particularly sad and uncharacteristically kind expression
This uncharacteristic kindness filled him with malice
He looked at her darkly
I need (to go) to Peter Ivanovich's
He went to the acquaintance whose acquaintance was a doctor
And with him (went) to the doctor's
He found him (the doctor) in and for a long time conversed with him
While examining anatomically and physiologically the details of what, in the doctor's opinion, was going on (with)in him
he understood everything
(There) was one little thing, a small little thing in the blind gut
All (of) that might be corrected
Strengthening (lit., to strengthen) the energy of one organ, weakening the activity of another
will produce absorption and everything will correct itself
He was a little late to dinner
(He) ate dinner, talked cheerfully, but for a long time could not go away to his own room to work
Finally he went to (his) study and immediately sat down to work
He read case files (lit., matters), worked (on them)
but the consciousness that he has a neglected (lit., having been put off) an important inward matter
which he will take up after finishing would not leave him
When he finished the case files (lit., matters)
he remembered that this inner matter was thoughts about the blind gut
But he didn't (manage to) give himself up to them, he went into the parlor for tea(-time)
(There) were guests, (they) talked and played the piano, (they) sang
the examining magistrate, the suitor desired by (his) daughter, was there (too)
Ivan Ilich spent the evening, according to a remark of Praskovya Fyodorovna, more gaily than the others
but he did not forget even for a moment
that he has important, neglected thoughts about the blind gut
At eleven o'clock he excused himself and went to his own (room)
He had been sleeping alone since the time of (the onset of) his illness
in a little roomlet adjacent to (his) study
He went (there), undressed, and took up a novel by Zola
but (he) did not read it, but (fell into) thought
And in his imagination was taking place that desired repairing of the blind gut
(There) was absorption (lit., it absorbed itself), (there) was evacuation (lit., it threw itself out), the proper activity was restoring itself
Yes, that is all just so, said he to himself
(It) is only necessary to assist nature
He remembered about his medicine (i.e., remembered to take his medicine), raised himself up, took it
(he) lay down on his back, paying heed to how beneficially the medicine is acting and how it is annihilating the pain
(It is necessary) only to take (it) regularly and to avoid (lit., run away from) harmful influences
I already now feel somewhat better, much better
He began to squeeze (his) side, to the touch (lit., to the squeezing) (it) is not painful
Yes, I don't feel (it)
really, (it's) already much better
He put out the candle and lay down on (his) side
The blind gut is repairing itself, absorbing itself
Suddenly he felt the familiar, old, dull, aching pain
insistent, quiet, serious
In (his) mouth the same familiar repulsiveness
He felt a pain in his heart (lit., (his) heart began hurting), he got confused (lit., (it) roiled itself up in (his) head)
My God, my God, he exclaimed
Again, again, and (it) will never stop
And suddenly to him the matter presented itself from another point of view (lit., another side)
The blind gut? The kidney, said he to himself
It's not a matter of the blind gut or the kidney (lit., not in the blind gut, not in the kidney is the matter)
but (it's a matter of) life and . . . death
Yes, life used to be and here (it) is going, going
and I cannot restrain it
Yes. Why deceive myself
Isn't (it) obvious to everyone, except me, that I am dying
and the question is only in the number of weeks, of days--right now, maybe
Before (there) was light, and now (there) is darkness
Before I was here, and now (I'm going) there! Where?
He felt a wave of cold (lit., it poured over him with cold), (his) breathing stopped
He heard only the beating of (his) heart
I won't be (here any more), so what will (there) be
(There) won't be anything
So where then will I be, when I will not be (here any more)
(Is it) really death
No, (I) don't want (it)
He jumped up, tried (lit., wanted) to light a candle
(he) fumbled with trembling hands, dropped the candle (together) with the candlestick onto the floor and again fell back onto (his) pillow
Why? (It's) all the same (i.e., it doesn't matter that I dropped the candle), said he to himself, looking with open eyes into the darkness
Death. Yes, death
And no one of them knows, and (they) don't want to know, and (they) aren't sorry (for me)
They are playing
He heard the distant, from beyond the door, pealing of a voice and of an instrumental refrain
They don't care (lit., to them it's all the same), but they also will die
Fools. For me sooner, and for them later; and for them it will be just the same
And they are rejoicing. Beasts
Spiteful anger smothered him
And for him (it) became torturously, unbearably heavy
(It) can't really be that everyone always would be condemned to this terrible fear
He raised himself
Something is not right (lit., so)
(it) is necessary to calm down, necessary to think everything over from the beginning
And here he began to think (things) over
Yes, the beginning of (my) illness
(I) bumped myself in the side, and I was just the same both that day and the next
(it) ached a little, then more, then the doctors, then depression, anxiety, again the doctors
and I was going ever closer, closer to the abyss
(My) strength is less
Closer, closer. And here I have wasted away, I have no light in (my) eyes
And (it) is death, and I am thinking about (my) appendix
(I) am thinking about repairing (my) appendix, and it's death
Again terror came upon him
he panted, bent down, began to look for the matches, pushed (his) elbow against the bedstand
It was in his way (lit., interfered with him) and made (it) painful (for him)
he got mad at it
(he) pushed with irritation more strongly and knocked over the bedstand
And in despair, gasping for breath, he fell onto his back, expecting death immediately
The guests were leaving at that time
Praskovya Fyodorovna was seeing them out
She heard the falling and came in
What's the matter
Nothing. (I) dropped (something) accidentally
She went out, brought in a candle
He lay (there), breathing heavily and very fast
like a man who has run a verst
looking at her with motionless eyes (lit., stopped eyes)
What's the matter, Jean
Noth . . ing. (I) Dr. . opp . ed
What is (there) to say. She will not understand, thought he
She in fact did not understand
she helped him up (lit., raised), lit for him a candle, and hurriedly went out
for her (it) was necessary to see out a (female) guest
When she returned
he in just the same way (as before) was lying on his back
looking upward
How are you, or (is it) worse
Yes
She shook (her) head, sat for a while (with him)
(You) know (what) I think, Jean
(shouldn't we) invite Leshchetitsky to the house (to see you)
This means to invite the celebrity doctor
and not to spare the money
He poisonously smiled (at her) and said, "No"
She sat for a while, came up (to him) and kissed him on the forehead
He hated her with all the strength of (his) soul at that time (i.e., while) she was kissing him
and (had to) make an effort (lit., efforts) in order not to push her away
Farewell
(Perhaps) God will grant (that you) will fall asleep
