12.1 How to Make Even Lawyers Stop Talking

It may not surprise you to hear that lawyers like to talk — sometimes too much. This is not a slight against their profession: they are advocates, so even when they are told to stop talking, they sometimes feel compelled to keep going on behalf of their clients. This was a problem for a judge who got frustrated with lawyers ignoring his attempts to cut off their long speeches. Then the judge made a simple discovery: if he held his hand up, palm facing the speaker, the lawyer would stop immediately.

Try it yourself: ask someone to tell you what they had for supper last night, and as soon as they start talking, put your hand up. When I’ve done this in the classroom, the student invariably stops. If I ask why they stopped, despite me explicitly commanding them to talk, they say “You told me to stop!”

“I said no such thing,” I point out. At least, not with words.

The lesson is clear: the nonverbal gesture overrode the verbal command, which can be interpreted as “Nonverbal communication is more powerful than verbal communication.”